Converging vs. Diverging From The Norm

How do you differentiate between a high performing organization and everyone else? There are countless answers that likely differentiate the two. However, as I was sitting in a two hour training seminar for contracting personnel at work today and I couldn't help but notice one extremely important differentiator.

When people hear the term government acquisition, high performing organization is not necessarily the first thing that comes to mind. That is not to say that there aren't extremely capable people and teams within the career field because I have definitely worked with both. However, the combination of bureaucracy, regulation, and a risk averse culture of the government procurement career field doesn’t propel it into the ranks of what many consider a high performing organization.

As I sat through the training session I could not help but notice the same phrases directed at the audience. "If you don't do this....then the auditors will slam you," or "You better do this.....or the Inspector General may write you up," and "You should be doing this.......because it is a direct reflection of you and your superior's work." It was relentless and I couldn't help but feeling like I was being pushed around a bit. Threatened almost. The kind of warnings one receives throughout childhood. Unfortunately these kinds of messages are the norm in the government arena. In the government contracting environment individuals are pushed to converge with what is ordinary. In that environment ordinary is good. Ordinary means staying well within bounds. Ordinary means being reactive to any feedback that is filtered down. Ordinary is the safe play. Ordinary (hopefully) keeps your organization out of the headlines.

In my experience, high performing organizations force you diverge from the ordinary. A high performing organization says "You better create or do something new and unique....or something bad will happen to you." There is a distinct incentive to not only break free of the status quo but to change it for the better. Instead of coloring well within the lines you go outside them and establish new boundaries that you would not have known were possible had you not put yourself out there. When an organization forces you to diverge from the ordinary you in essence become extraordinary, and being extraordinary is the epitome of what a high performing organization is all about.

Dressing Well, Peer Pressure, and Self Actualization

I came across this post on PersonalBrandingBlog by Dan Schawbel. A guest poster writes on the importance of dressing appropriately for different scenarios, and how that contributes to your personal brand. If you want you can read the entire post here. I have included a few excerpts below as well.

But this weekend, when flipping through the New York Post, an op-ed piece entitled “Schlub Nation” caught my eye. The writer Faran Krentcil lamented about the prevalence of mourners at Ted Kennedy’s wake dressed in flip-flops, undershirts and dirty tees.

Dress to impress or dress to include?

Krentcil argues that putting the effort into dressing well for important events—like weddings, wakes, job interviews—shows as much respect for the other person as it does for yourself. “Aren’t you better than a ripped t-shirt with a mustard stain on the collar?” he asks.

We’ve all heard the saying, “You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover,” but should we?

I admit that since moving to Florida from New York City, my everyday dress is much more casual. I have driven to Whole Foods wearing flip-flops, for example, where I’d never worn flip-flops before except for maybe the locker room at the gym. But I still dress up for speaking engagements, business meetings, television appearances. When I’m in the spotlight, wearing good quality, nice fitting clothes makes me feel more authoritative. I’m happy to have all eyes looking at me, and looking pulled together reinforces my personal brand.

Great lesson and thoughts on personal branding, however I immediately thought of how peer pressure factors into dress within different scenarios. There are many people who down play the influence of peer pressure and social norms on our lives. I think that this discussion of appropriate dress exemplifies how we are affected by others expectations and how those expectations are often dictated pragmatically through the different social situations we find ourselves in.

I read something on Ben Casnocha's blog a while back about peer pressure and his point was something along the lines of "walk across the street 10 feet away from a crosswalk with people at it on a green light and tell me that peer pressure doesn't affect you or your life."

We all like to feel like we are different, unique, above the influence of others; our own person if you will. However, the fact is that we are social creatures by nature. We have a strong internal desire to belong, to relate, to be a part of something. In order to fulfill those desires we must be cognisant of other people's expectations. I admit that I like to push the envelope in certain situations. However I am also quite aware that these tend to be social situations that I am comfortable or familiar in, or I have some established credibility. For instance the way I interact with a bunch of my buddies in a hockey locker room is going to be quite different than the way I interact at a networking gathering. The expectations are different, and I have established some emotional credibility with one group while the other group has no idea who I am or what I am about.

Peer pressure and social norms are interesting and very abstract concepts to talk about and wrap your head around, but I think they are valuable to work your way through. You can only be more self aware and self actualized throughout the plentiful social situations you will make your way into as you get older.

Social Norms, High School and Death Metal T-Shirts

Anyone who reads this blog knows it is no secret that I am a huge metal fan. I have been a metal head since I was in 5th grade and my love for the music has never wavered. When most people find out that I listen to metal they say something like, “I can’t believe you listen to metal” or “you don’t look like the typical person who likes that kind of music.” I understand that people like to group people with like interests into generalizations or categories. In a sense this is how our minds work. But back in the glory days, the high school days, I went through some interesting experiences brought upon me by my love of metal and I learned some valuable life lessons from those experiences.

I have always dressed kind of preppy I guess you would call it. It always just felt the most comfortable for me and my personality, and the fact that I played competitive hockey where dressing up for games was expected probably didn’t hurt either. Maybe it was for the girls, I don’t really know why we dress the way we do. However when I was in high school once every couple of weeks I would rock a death metal shirt to school. I wore an Obituary long sleeve shirt with evil body mutating trees on it. I wore a Cannibal Corpse shirt with rotting corpses performing lude acts on it. I wore many other band shirts that thankfully weren’t as bad as the Corpse shirt. Part of it was my love for the music, part of it was probably so satisfy some random teenage rebellion craving, and part of it was probably to wave my flag proudly that I didn’t think mainstream music at the time was any good.

What was interesting was what happened when I did this. Different girls or buddies would come up and ask what the shirt was all about. I would tell them it was a band I listened to and they would make some stupid joke or comment about it. I wasn’t too worried about it because all my real friends knew I was into it and even if they gave me a hard time about it they were just messing around. However, things got interesting when I would run into the kids that did fit the “typical person who likes that kind of music” mold. I would be walking by and I would get the classic poseur comment or something to that effect. What I found ironic was the fact there was some kid wearing a Marilyn Manson or Deftones shirt calling me a poseur while sporting a shirt from some of the most brutally heavy bands of all time.

What I find interesting when I look back is how even amongst various groups of people they are all trying to maintain the status quo. Everyone has situations in which they don’t feel like they fit in, especially during the teenage years. Instead of focusing on trying to always fit in, which I acknowledge is essential to human happiness, we should realize that there are times where it pays to stand out. When you don’t stand out you are average, and people aren’t rewarded internally or externally for being average. I am currently listening to an audio book by Seth Godin called Tribes. His book is all about becoming a leader and challenging the status quo. He argues that the new world needs and rewards “heretics” who go against the status quo, form tribes, and lead. It is a very good book that I will post a full review on shortly.

I think these experiences taught me to be more confident in myself, and to shrug it off when you are at the butt end of the joke. People are always trying to please other people especially at that age, but at the end of the day it is yourself that you must know and enjoy. A sense of self confidence is essential to living a life of learning and enjoyment. If you are always doubting and questioning what you are about and what you represent, how are you ever going to go about improving upon it?

I know this post is a random illustration of a simple concept, however like any great movie of the 80’s (see Lucas the 80's movie picture above!) what better way is there to analyze social norms and life lessons than reflecting on the stupid, unimportant scars you are left with from high school. If a whole decade of Hollywood producers can do it why can’t I?