Checking For Charity Concept Video Version 2.0!

A while back I posted a Checking For Charity concept video I created on my MacBook. Although I had good intentions my graphic execution left a little to be desired. Thankfully, very talented people have been inspired by our organization's goal to change the world through competitive hockey events. The latest Checking For Charity concept video was created by one of our volunteers Alicia Kraus. She does awesome work and has a real knack for carrying out a vision while making it better than you could have possibly imagined. Please visit her website at http://www.aliciakraus.com/. Let me know what you think of the new and much improved video and better yet visit our website and join our team!

Checking For Charity Concept Video

Our first Checking For Charity concept video. This is version 1.0 and it will likely be incrementally improved so please leave comments/suggestions!

Growth, Bureaucracy, and Creative Collaboration

There have been some exciting things going on with Checking For Charity this year. Since its inception, our team has managed to grow both the size of the tournament and money raised for charity by more than 100%. We are seeking to do the same this year and have set a goal of a 24 team tournament that we hope will raise more than $50,000 for charity. We are structuring to expand to a west coast division and have an even more exciting long term strategy that is yet to be disclosed. So with the continued growth of Checking For Charity what is there to worry about? The same challenges that any growing company faces.

Organizational Balance: Creativity and flexibility have undoubtedly been a large factor in the early success of our charity. We take creative and motivated people and we turn them loose to make things happen for our cause. It is a formula that is not only successful but also extremely rewarding to be a part of. People are empowered to grow and improve their area of influence and I believe they come up with ideas that they wouldn’t otherwise have come up with had the culture been more structured. The flip side of that culture is that you can have a lot of people doing a lot of things in a lot of different directions. Part of my role as President is to ensure that we are implementing ideas that are in line with our strategy as well as ideas that most effectively use our limited resources whether it be money, manpower, or time. In order to do that there must be some corporate structure and organization in place. Having a greater than 100% year over year growth makes this all the more important and urgent. So that is the new challenge of our growing organization. Balancing between staying organized with a clear strategic vision while remaining creative and vigilantly avoiding/destroying unnecessary bureaucracy at the same. It is a difficult challenge that will undoubtedly be with us while we continue to grow but I am confident that we can find the right balance moving forward.

Creative Collaboration: When we first started out we were structured as one team of people where each person carried out a variety of individual tasks that were assigned to them. We have since grown and are now structured more like a traditional business. We have assigned leads to different functional areas to include finance, marketing, hockey operations, etc. Those functional executives run teams of volunteers and are ultimately responsible for actions that fall within their scope of responsibility. Having served in the Air Force for the last five years I have learned valuable lessons as to the potential downfalls of a functional structure. In the Air Force there are often competing priorities, incompatible systems and information sharing, and lost opportunities for synergy between the numerous functional areas. These challenges are sure to arise in varying degrees within any organization that is structured in a functional manner, however I feel that the challenges are just much easier to see in an organization as large as the Air Force or Department of Defense for that matter. So how do we establish a culture where cross functional collaboration is the norm while still empowering the various teams within their given lane? The short answer is that we are working on it. It is a relatively new problem for us but as we continue to expand it will become more important. One way we are seeking to promote a creative, collaborative, cross functional culture is by taking advantage of the amazing new technological aides that are out there.

I was put in contact with an executive of Wasabi Ventures through a very good friend of mine. Wasabi Ventures is a smaller venture capital firm that happens to have stake in PBworks. My friend is involved in a project with Wasabi and was curious if we could benefit from a PBworks account. I was familiar with PBworks because a few of the blogs I read and a few of the people I follow on Twitter were tied to it in some way, however I must admit I was a bit naïve as to what it could actually do for an organization like ours. After discussing similar challenges in our different companies and realizing that CFC could benefit greatly from this service my friend reached out to the guys at Wasabi and before I knew it they had graciously donated a PBworks account to our cause.

PBworks is a real time collaborative wiki. Which basically means that you can share and collaborate on documents in a virtual workspace. You can have the various members of your team collaborating on documents within the workspace. There is a social networking type capability within the system as well where individuals can make comments or recommendations almost like a comment feed on a blog. I am by no means an expert yet but it is very intuitive and easy to use and I am really excited for the possibilities it can bring to our organization’s future. My role, with the help of my extremely organized wife, will be to lay the groundwork for our workspace and corporate organization so that we can incorporate this tool into our culture. With the prospects of a western division expansion in the next year or two, PBworks could not have come at a better time. For those interested in the capability of PBworks you can view a quick demonstration video here.

More to come of the future of Checking For Charity. If you are interested in playing, volunteering, donating, sponsoring, partnering, or anything in between please do not hesitate to contact us at checkingforcharity@gmail.com. Remember "Our Goal Is To Assist!"

Humility & Hubris - Learning From A Punch In The Mouth

When I was 18 years old I was playing in the United States Hockey League, one of the premier junior A leagues in North America. It was my first year in the league and needless to say it was a challenging transition coming from minor hockey. Not only was the league leaps and bounds above any level I had played at previously, but there was a new dynamic in the form of fighting. The league played NHL rules and fighting typically resulted in a five minute time out, a pat on the back from your teammates, and a few new fans in the stands. I was hesitant to fight in my early days, however I got into a few and eventually found that I was pretty good at it. I never took on the role of the team’s go to fighter or anything, but I was less than hesitant to shy away for a scrap when warranted. Well over half way into my rookie year I had yet to “lose” a fight. That is not to say I won every fight either, just that I left each prior tilt feeling at least OK about it. A little cockiness, that was only revealed in hindsight, started to set in. One night up in Rochester, Minnesota I started a fight with the wrong kid and proceeded to get pumped for over a minute straight. I was, at the time, too cocky and proud to go down and end the fight so I stood there taking a beating convinced I could come back and get the best of him. Standing outside after the game with some buddies, my face throbbing in pain, in subzero temperatures, waiting for the bus to be fully loaded, I was dished a healthy dose of humility. This was not the first time and it would not be the last, it was merely an extremely memorable occasion for obvious reasons.

This last weekend, almost a decade after getting speed bagged, I suffered another proverbial ass kicking. Although this time around it wasn’t a southpaw opponent, it was at the hands of the Graduate Management Admission Test (GMAT). I wasn’t necessarily cocky heading into the test as I had my reservations, but I really thought that my two months of preparation were enough to reach my goal score. The score doesn’t lie. My preparation wasn’t enough, and it hit me like a punch in the face. I was lambasted with all the standard emotions; disbelief, anger, self doubt, etc. However, when all the dust began to settle I forced myself to look at my GMAT setback like any other.

Getting a healthy dose of humility is never fun, but always necessary. Necessary in that it prevents the inevitable creep of hubris which poisons the human psyche. So what lessons can learned from this punch in the mouth that can be paralleled to future trials and tribulations?

1. A dose of humility is a stake in the ground – these unpleasant events are clear and distinct points in time where character decisions are made. Where do you go from here? Do you let the situation control your decisions moving forward or do you accept reality and continue to persevere towards your goal?

2. Humility serves as a reality barometer – After my emotions settled down I looked at my situation and said ‘it is what it is.’ That statement although simplistic and clichéd serves a purpose. That purpose is to help you get a grasp on reality. Things are never as good as you think they are when you are up and never as bad as you think they are when you are down. Although a dose of humility often puts you in one of the down spells, it has the effect of smacking you back into concert with reality. After you have recovered from the shock of recent events you can use the adversity to gather a firm grasp on where you are at; you can then accurately devise of plan of where you are going.

3. When you get punched in the mouth punch back – With the GMAT, I could take my score and move on. I could go do something else or alter my goals so that they are achievable without doing anything else, but I won’t. I want to take another run at it. I want to do as well I know I can do. I want reach my original goal. With the GMAT or anything else, sometimes you just have to use some old fashioned perseverance. I see this partial failure as just a step in process of success. There is no guarantee I won’t do worse on the next try, but at least I will know that I took another swing. Like a fight in hockey, it isn't really that important whether you "win or lose" but that you showed up in the first place!

The 2010 National Hockey League Winter Classic!

So I got the call the other day from a friend in Jersey that there was a free extra ticket to the NHL's 2010 Winter Classic with my name on it. Needless to say I jumped on the chance to go. The game was a lot of fun and was first class in every respect. It was incredible to watch a hockey game at a classic venue like Fenway Park. Below are some pictures and videos from the day.

The view from my seat:

The view to the right:

The game as it started to get dark:


The military marching on and other pregame festivities:


The "Green Monstah":


The view to the left of my seat:

First video is the street outside Fenway about an hour prior to game time. Needless to say it was crazy out there.

Next video is a quick view of what the stadium was like pregame.

Next is the Philadelphia Flyers getting a warm welcome from the Boston faithful.

Last video was the military guys marching on to the field to Dropkick Murphy's live performance of "I'm Shipping Up to Boston" which was pretty sweet.

Checking For Charity Corporation - Final Final Tally!

I know that I posted a Checking For Charity final tally last week, but apparently I spoke too soon. The inaugural tournament champions Team Hardenbergh played for the Ed Snyder Youth Hockey Foundation (ESYHF). By winning the tournament they took home the coveted Checking For Charity cup as well as an 18% share of the overall proceeds from the event. Their 18% came out to be $1,620.00. Earlier this week team captain Mitch Larnerd and Checking For Charity Vice Chairman Chris Mattie presented the foundation with their check. The ESYHF has graciously matched our donation two fold donating another $3,240.00 which brings our tournament total up over $12,450.00! Our organization’s stretch goal was $10k for this tournament so to be pleasantly surprised with this match donation is amazing. We have also been contacted by numerous organizations and charities looking to help with our next event. Our main focus for the next event is hitting the corporate push and marketing campaign hard and early. We were hindered by the IRS this year due to their speedy processing of our tax exempt status which is measured in months. However, next event the shell that is Checking For Charity Corporation will already be in place allowing us to focus entirely on the event ahead us instead or building a corporation. We also have developed a successful model that with be easy to replicate and expand upon. The future looks bright for Checking For Charity.

Checking For Charity Corporation - First Event Was Huge Success!

The first event hosted by Checking For Charity was a huge success. Not only did the event exceed all expectations with regard to professionalism, level of competition, and money raised for charity, it was extremely fulfilling on a personal level to be a part of something so special. I plan on writing a more detailed post when all the funds are totaled from the weekend's event but for now I wanted to share some of the positive press that we got from the weekend's event. See what the Courier Post had to say about our tourney here. Thanks again to all participants, volunteers, charity representatives, and most importantly the world class guys who stepped up to do the dirty work; you know who you are!

"We love what we do but we wanted to take it to the next level and give back," said Paul Caruso, who helped organize the first annual tournament dubbed "Checking for Charity."

Caruso, of Marlton, said the idea for the tournament was born through a group of local hockey enthusiasts who meet at the Voorhees rink on Sundays for a morning hockey game.

When the idea was brought up the men, many who are business professionals, put their connections together to organize sponsors and charities for the tournament.

Caruso said the plan is to begin holding the charity event annually and to even expand it out to other cities.

Donation totals weren't tallied after the match Sunday but Caruso estimated the weekend, which included an auction and donations from area businesses, would tally between $6,000 and $10,000. Charities included the Philadelphia Children's Hospital and the American Heart Association.

Checking For Charity Corporation - A Journey In The Formation Of A Movement

Well it has been a crazy few weeks for me. With the move up to Boston, bumming around between a hotel and friends houses, our stuff in storage for weeks, and a new job to boot I really haven't had enough time to keep up on BadskiBlog. However, I wanted to write about Checking For Charity a bit since our inaugural hockey tournament and event is less than a week away. Obviously I have been stressed about a lot of things lately during our life transition, but Checking For Charity is honestly one of the things that has stressed me out the most.

I am a type A personality. I like to be in control. I am not one of those people who needs to be in charge of every group or team, but I like to feel like I am in control of my life and anything that I decide to undertake. I think that stems more from my belief that with enough perseverance, hard work and dedication you can accomplish most things you set out to do in this world than from a hunger for power.

With CFC's tournament taking place in Voorhees New Jersey, I am obviously not co-located with my team of buddies who have stepped up to build this corporation and make this first event happen. And believe me it has been very difficult for me. I like to be in the trenches so to speak. When I lead I typically shut my mouth, put my head down and skate, and lead by example. I have always gotten along quite in a team environment, so that coupled with trying to lead by example has always made leadership roles a fairly comfortable place for me. In fact most times I don't even really feel like THE leader. I feel like someone who is respected amongst friends and teammates seeking a common goal. Well that is still the case with CFC, however being a few states away I really have had to place a lot of trust in other people to come through where I would typically be fairly close to the action. As I said it has been difficult, but I could not be more proud of the people who have stepped up to help. Their creativity and initiative is truly going to make our first event a memorable one.

As stressful as it has been it has also been a huge learning experience for me in the art of leadership. This tournament is a living example that if you surround yourself with good people, lay out a vision, and give them the means to contribute and improve upon that vision they will astonish you. Taking nothing away from myself or any of the guys who have become part of this creative smorgasbord, but we aren't top level executives or Rhodes scholars. For the most part we are just everyday average guys who came together and have created something that is, in my opinion, pretty damn cool.

Here are some bullet point updates for you to digest. If you are unfamiliar with what the Checking For Charity movement is all about you can check it out in the upper right corner of this blog or click here. If you are at all inspired and would like to contribute please do. There are many opportunities to help other than just monetarily (although that is good too). Simply spreading the word to others who may want to be part of our movement is a great and relatively simple way to contribute. Join us on Facebook. If you are in the NJ/Philly/NY area and would like to participate as a player, spectator, volunteer, or even beer consumer please visit the site and contact us.

- There are now 8 teams competing in the tournament representing a wide variety of charities which are listed on the website.

- There will be T-shirts, Polo's, and hoodies available for sale at the tournament and eventually on the website. All proceeds will go towards charity. BIG THANKS to Mikey at Quality Concepts for their generous donation.

- There will be food and frosty beverages available outside the arena for all to enjoy.

- On Sunday a formal presentation will be made by the tournament committee to a representative of each charity and the team captain of the team who represented them. Media will be present to witness the trophy presentations as well as the giant check presentation to each team detailing how much was raised for their cause.

- The trophy presentation will consist of one trophy to the winning team as well as a travelling trophy with the winning team's name and charity engraved on it which will be maintained by the corporation.

- Be on the look out for some prominent individuals from the professional sporting world. More details to come.

- If you are interested in having an event in your area let us know. Checking For Charity 2.0 is seeking to serve as a vehicle and mentor for those who are looking to change the world through competitive hockey events. "Our Goal Is To Assist!"

Investing Lesson - A Case Study

This article was featured on ESPN the other day, and although it is a sports article it teaches a valuable lesson about investing. The article talks about some current/former NHL players that are suing a developer for blowing their investment pool on lavish parties to entice higher profile and higher paid MLB players. Although the set up reeks of a classic Ponzi scheme, that's not why I chose to post this article. I chose to post this article not only because hockey is near and dear to my heart, but also to serve as an illustration of what happens when you violate one of the principle laws of investing basics.

A golf resort developer duped nearly two dozen NHL players out of $25 million, blowing the money on gratuitous parties that were attended by former Yankees players Roger Clemens and Reggie Jackson, according to a lawsuit filed Thursday.

The New York Post reported in Friday's edition that 19 former and current NHL players filed suit against Ken Jowdy, alleging they invested the money with the Las Vegas-based golf-course mogul to develop two luxury resorts in Mexico -- a project they say is seven years behind schedule.

One of Warren Buffett's favorite quotes is "Never invest in a business you cannot understand." I always try to remember that. I think that, in true Buffett fashion, his simplistic mantra is so insightful and all encompassing. In this scenario I would expand it to say don't invest in people you don't understand. If you aren't quite sure of someone's character or your gut is telling you don't invest, then don't. I am sure it is easier said than done and if it was me who made the mistake I'd be on BadskiBlog writing what I learned from the negative experience but simply put don't get blinded by the money or the prospect of making money.

Instead, according to the players, Jowdy squandered the money on "lavish parties" to impress the likes of Clemens, Jackson and banned hits king Pete Rose, among others, who Jowdy hoped would eventually buy real estate in the planned resorts.

The lawsuit seeks the return of the $25 million they invested and $15 million in damages.

Former New York Rangers and Islanders defensman Bryan Berard and one-time Islanders captain Michael Peca were hit the hardest, each losing $700,000 in the deal, according to the filing in Los Angeles County Superior Court.

"It's particularly uncomfortable for all," Berard told the Post. "He's taken our money without telling us, and it's supposedly all gone."

Other players involved in the alleged scam include: Chris Simon, who played for both the Rangers and Islanders; former Rangers Greg deVries, Steve Rucchin and Rem Murray; former New Jersey Devil Turner Stevenson; and Sergei Gonchar of the Stanley Cup champion Pittsburgh Penguins.

Sadly I don't think these guys will ever get a dime back. Everyone has the 'right' to enter into a poor agreement and it looks like that's what these guys did. The funny part is that if the $25M had been put in even a modestly aggressive asset allocation of low cost index and mutual funds they likely would have made, by all conventional definitions, a ton of money. When the majority of these guys were playing and in their money making primes was when the S&P was putting up a 10 year annualized return of roughly 19%. Instead of making money incredibly complicated they should have kept it simple and used the advantage they had, which was large amounts of money to invest with. A sad story but a great learning experience for the rest of us.

Living The Dream - Old Time Hockey

These guys are awesome! Check out this article I found on CNN and watch the video below. I used to dream of playing in the Stanley Cup finals but since my competitive career has ended my new dream is to ‘grow up’ to be one of these guys. Who knows, with me moving up to Boston I could be playing with these guys sooner than I'd like. You gotta love all the great one liners these guys throw around. I think it just shows that most hockey guys are the same everywhere or at every age for that matter. I also love that they actually admit to having some geriatric fisticuffs on the ice….classic!

In the 16 years of the Bald Eagles' existence, Lyons says, there may have been one or two skirmishes. "We can't hit very hard," he adds.

I think these old timers sum up what the game is really all about. Hockey is all about being surrounded by great human beings. I really miss playing the game competitively and all the things that come with playing at a high level, but what I miss the most is being surrounded by 25 of my best friends traveling the world and experiencing things not many people get to experience. To this day I still have more fun hanging out with the guys than I do playing in the men's league games. Not to mention its a great network to be a part of. It's always a good thing to be part of group of great people that come from and do a variety of things.

Besides staying in shape, there are other reasons they show up. Says Dick Lyons: "Most of us miss the social dimensions of work, and this kind of compensates in a small way for that kind of camaraderie."

This is why I love sports and am such a huge proponent of what they represent. You can learn everything you need to learn in life through your experience in sports. Sports maintain that childlike idealism in us and we are whisked away for a quick glimpse of the world and what it is capable of being. To the world where things just feel right. Beauty story....

The Stanley Cup

The Pittsburgh Penguins are the Stanley Cup Champions. No matter how many times I see the Stanley Cup presented I am amazed at how special it is. Having worked my entire life to reach the level of hockey that I did, I can only imagine the feeling of accomplishment at having won the world's most coveted trophy. The trophy is the embodiment of what our great game is all about; hard work, dedication, adversity, and passion. Even if you do not watch the game of hockey you have to see a Stanley Cup presentation. It truly is a sight to see watching the joy and camaraderie of the players who carry it above their heads as they take a victory lap around the ice. It is that pure moment of joy that is what hockey, sports, and life in general is all about.

Which Is Your Favorite Gino?

Not only do I think Alexander Ovechkin is the best player in the NHL at the moment, I think he is also the most exciting. Some of the goals this guy scores make NHL players look like beer league ankle benders. Check out this link and watch/vote on your favorite Ovie goals. You can thank me later for delivering these delicious dangles directly to you.

Goal Of The Playoffs By The NHL's Best Player

Before the game Alexander Ovechkin told Capital fans "don't give up hope yet." In an almost prophetic promise he delivered this beauty. This is the best goal of the playoffs by a player who I think is unarguably the best player to lace up a pair of skates this season. This guy does it all and I hope they make an amazing comeback from their 3-1, now 3-2, deficit in the series against the Rangers so we can be treated with more exciting stuff like this. Wow. What a gamer.

An Apology and A Great Gino!!

First off let me apologize for the light bloggage the last few days. Obviously I cannot do any blogging at work, and our Internet at home has been having some technical difficulties to say the least. Luckily I have a beautiful and feisty wife who lays down the hammer on poor phone customer service.

To make it up to all you avid BadskiBlog readers I have decided to post one of the sickest ginos (goals) in the history of hockey. For all you non hockey players, I cannot even begin to explain the talent and audacity it took to score this goal and make it look so easy no less. The only thing I might enjoy more than this goal is listening to foreign announcers exclamations while watching this goal. Classic. Enjoy and hopefully I will bust out a few overdue posts in the next few days.

Air Force Hockey Advances To The Elite 8!

Air Force has just defeated Michigan 2-0 in the opening round of the NCAA tournament! Wow. It was only a matter of time until the program took the next step. Its amazing what a group of character guys can do when they are committed to a common goal. To be honest I am pretty speechless at the moment. I am just really proud of the guys and how far the program has come. Wow I can't believe it.

http://www.goairforcefalcons.com/sports/m-hockey/recaps/032709aac.html

A Post for the Optimists

Life can wear on you. Between the adversity you have faced in your life and the day to day trials and tribulations there are times when you are just tired of things being difficult. It seems without fail that it's that during these times that you run into some individuals who test your will. Bad experiences, dealing with losers, depressing news in the media, it becomes quite easy to focus on the negatives. Well this post serves as a personal reminder and a challenge to those who actually read this blog to focus on the positive. Sound cheesy?! Well it kind of is, but I am believer that we are surrounded by greatness and by focusing and acknowledging examples of greatness we gravitate towards greatness ourselves. I am not immune to feeling down and going through rough times. And usually when I think that things can't get any worse, they do. I also can't believe that, without fail, things always get better and I look back at the bad times and realize that they weren't that bad. Or if they were, they served as a painful yet valuable experience that only make the good times all the better while helping me to grow as a person. I typically find that the good things in my life aren't things at all, they are people. The greatness constants in the life o' Badski are always shining examples of great human beings. My wife, family and friends are typically the things that keep my spirits high and my ability to recover from the lows strong. I started writing this post a few days ago and since then I was forwarded the following article from my old coach. I don't know Jacques Lamoureux because he came in the year after I graduated but I know quite well the company that he runs with. I was lucky enough to play four seasons with people of this caliber and have no doubt that I would feel the same way about him as I do all the other guys I played with at the Academy. This story illustrates the kind of greatness that I am referring to. The great human feel good factor of overcoming adversity and growing as a person. As bad as your situation is there is always someone who has it worse than you do. Be grateful for what you have, take the hand you are dealt and keep moving forward. Hopefully this story inspires you as it did me and serves as a reminder that the eternal optimist always wins, always succeeds, and has a hell of a lot more fun doing it than the next guy.

History of depression initially keeps the North Dakota-native out of the Air Force Academy.

Jacques Lamoureux has a knack for making his shots count.

A sophomore at the Air Force Academy and a center on the Falcons' hockey team, Lamoureux is college hockey's national leader in goals with 29, and power play goals with 14. He also leads the nation with eight game-winning goals, making him the hero of one-third of the Falcons' wins this season.

"He has that dirty little habit of finding the back of the net," said Air Force head coach Frank Serratore. "He's got that knack. He kind of has a sixth sense of where pucks are going to go. He's got great hands, he's aggressive around the net, and when he gets his chance, he puts it away."

Still, of all the shots in Lamoureux's life, the one that looms largest is the one he never took.

A goaltender on two NCAA championship teams at the University of North Dakota and a junior hockey teammate of Mark Messier, Pierre Lamoureux was all too happy to put hockey sticks in the hands of his six children. However, there was a time when Jacques Lamoureux took his father's shotgun to bed instead.

"It was kind of a question, one hour to the next," Lamoureux said, "if I was actually going to commit suicide."

In a family filled with hockey talent, 15-year-old Jacques had junior hockey on his mind as a high school sophomore, but after his high school team won the state championship, his drive to perform took an unhealthy turn, and his life off the ice didn't help, either.

"I had a breakup with my girlfriend at the time," Lamoureux said. "That (relationship) was kind of the last thing holding me together, and then when that happened, everything fell apart so fast. I lost control of my emotions. I wasn't able to control and understand what I was going through."

Lamoureux went to therapy, but was unable to shake his emotional turmoil, complicated by the feeling that, as a hockey player from a good family, he wasn't supposed to struggle with depression or be vulnerable. Eventually, Jacques got his mom, Linda, to take him to the emergency room.

"One night," Lamoureux said, "I was laying in bed, and my dad's gun was right next to me, and my little brother Mario was sleeping next to me, and I went to my mom about 11, 12 at night and said, 'Mom, I need to go to the hospital.' I told her what I was doing, and she immediately took me to the hospital."

Shortly thereafter, visits to a psychiatrist led to prescriptions for anti-depressants and anxiety medication.

"Those medicines helped to mellow me out during that really bad time," Lamoureux said. "There was about a month, month and a half when I was at my worst. It was so bad that I would have had to have somebody holding my hand all the time to keep me from possibly doing something to myself, and those medicines helped me to mellow out and keep me from having those low, low feelings."

Through it all, Lamoureux did make it to the junior ranks, heading off with younger brother Pierre-Paul to play in the North American Hockey League with the Bismarck Bobcats. Still, Lamoureux struggled on and off the ice, partly due to the same medicines that had kept him together at his lowest point, but were now weighing him down, literally and figuratively.

"From the meds, I had gained quite a bit of weight," Lamoureux said. "I was 210 pounds, which was a lot at that point. I wasn't very fast in the first place, so that didn't help the situation."

In late November, 2003, Jacques and Pierre-Paul headed home from Bismarck for Thanksgiving. Rather than enjoying the holiday at home with family, though, Jacques found himself alone at a parking garage.

Six stories above the ground, with a handwritten note on the dashboard of his car, Jacques Lamoureux was mere inches from ending his life.

"I was standing at the edge of the parking ramp," Lamoureux said, "pondering whether I should jump off or not."

Thankfully, the family that had stood by Jacques Lamoureux's side throughout his struggles helped him once more - even though they didn't know it at the time.

"I knew I couldn't feel any worse than I was," Lamoureux said. "I was feeling so down, but our family had had an incident with one of my cousins, who committed suicide when I was really young, and I couldn't leave my family with that kind of hurt.

"Up to that point, they had worked so hard to try to help me. My parents bent over backwards; whatever kind of help they thought I needed. They had worked so hard for me, and in return, I don't think I felt I had done my own part to accept what they were trying to do for me. I hadn't really tried to work through the problems. I said, 'I can't do that to them. I'm going to stop feeling this way.'

"I opened my mind to the thought of getting better: knowing that it was going to be tough but doing it anyway."

Lamoureux came down from the ledge, left the note in the glove box, and went home to join his siblings for pond hockey. Later that night, determined to beat his depression naturally, he threw away most of his medication.

The decision is a controversial one - a sudden stop when taking antidepressants can lead to antidepressant withdrawal syndrome, or even a major relapse - but Lamoureux was determined to truly feel better, and not just numb, or in his words, "like a zombie."

"I kept just enough," Lamoureux said. "Every day, (Pierre-Paul) would watch me take my medicine, and I'd kinda do it, but when he turned around, I just spit it out. Everyone thought I was still taking my medicine, and then after a month, I told I everyone I wasn't taking it anymore."

Instead of meeting an untimely end, Jacques Lamoureux had found a new beginning.

As Lamoureux turned the tide in his battle with depression, his play on the ice improved as well. After recording just six points in 36 games in 2003-04, Lamoureux went off for 42 points in 50 games the following season and 70 points the season after that. He also began to attract interest from Division I college hockey programs, including Army and Air Force.

Even in wartime, knowing what a service commitment could mean, Lamoureux was attracted to the two military academies, particularly Air Force, and he committed to join the Falcons for the 2006-07 season.

"A lot of players, we have to go through a long educational process," Serratore said. "When they see everything that the Academy has to
offer, then they buy into it. Jacques wanted the military right from the get-go. It's not often that we get a kid who's a good player and a good student who embraces the military portion of it."

Before he could become a cadet, though, he had to be cleared by the Academy's doctors. Serratore knew what Lamoureux had gone through - by this point, he was giving talks about his experience for suicide prevention groups - but didn't think that getting into the Academy would be a problem. Unfortunately, he was wrong: the Department of Defense's Medical Examination Review Board denied Lamoureux's application, and the Academy doctors agreed.

"It was a well-publicized thing," Serratore said of Lamoureux's history with depression. "There was quite a time period since the last time that he had suffered from depression. We were disappointed, because Jacques was a good player and a good student who wanted the Academy."

For the time being, at least, Jacques Lamoureux's Air Force dreams had been grounded, but his response showed just how far he'd come.

"We were right in the middle of playoffs," Lamoureux said, "so I didn't have time to sit and whine about it. I talked to my parents about it, and I just said, 'I guess that's the way it's going to be. There's nothing I can do about it."

When he found out that he couldn't bring Lamoureux to Colorado Springs, Serratore made a few calls on his behalf. One of those calls landed Lamoureux at Northern Michigan University, playing for former Rangers assistant Walt Kyle.

"I had a blast," Lamoureux said. "I loved going to school out there. I had fun out there. Made a lot of good friendships."

Lamoureux played 16 games for the Wildcats as a freshman, recording one goal and one assist in a conference filled with big-name programs like Michigan, Notre Dame and that season's national champion, Michigan State. Off the ice, Lamoureux had no problems in Marquette, earning a 3.9 grade-point average. Still, he knew where he really wanted to be, and watching Air Force give the WCHA champions from Minnesota the fight of their lives in the NCAA tournament only served to drive the point home.

"I watched that game," Lamoureux said. "I said, 'I should be playing right now.'"

With his heart still set on Air Force, Lamoureux went to Kyle's office to ask for permission to transfer. Then, with Kyle's blessing, he called Serratore to inquire about re-applying. The Falcons coach, caught by surprise, made no promises.

"He asked me if I thought it would be a waste of time to reapply," Serratore said. "I told him, 'I don't know if it's going to do any good, Jacques, but I guess it wouldn't hurt.'"

Lamoureux was optimistic as he reapplied.

"The first time around," Lamoureux said, "I was three years removed from what happened. I'd been living away from home, paying some of my own bills, and playing a high level of hockey, and they didn't think I was OK. Maybe they'll think I'm OK now, after having all that and going to college and playing a Division I sport and getting a 3.9 GPA."

Sure enough, Lamoureux passed muster with the Academy doctors on his second go-round, and before long, he was packing his bags for Colorado Springs.

NCAA regulations would force him to sit out the 2007-08 season, but that was of little concern.

Jacques Lamoureux was finally getting what he wanted.

This fall, as Lamoureux restarted his college hockey career, both he and Air Force came out soaring. Lamoureux had 11 goals and eight assists in his first eight games as a Falcon, and the team won its first 13 games - including a win over crosstown rival and perennial power Colorado College - before falling to WCHA frontrunner Denver.

"I didn't think that I would start out the year the way I did," Lamoureux said. "I think a lot of that, I can attribute to my teammates. I get to play with Josh Frider and Brent Olson. They do some work and get me the puck, and I've just got to shoot it in the net."

While both Lamoureux and the Falcons have gone through struggles since that hot start - Air Force wound up in a dogfight with Rochester Institute of Technology atop the Atlantic Hockey standings - the Falcons claimed a share of the regular-season title and the top seed in the conference tournament, and Lamoureux finished the season strong. Lamoureux finished the regular season third in the nation in scoring with 1.35 PPG, and has reasserted himself in the race for the Hobey Baker Award, college hockey's equivalent of the Heisman Trophy, which his brother, Jean-Philippe, was a finalist for last year as a senior goaltender at North Dakota.

Given that the award's namesake, the first great American hockey player, was an Army Air Service pilot in World War I, there would be a special connection inherent in bringing the trophy back to Colorado Springs.

"I think that does add a little more mystique to it," Lamoureux said, "an Air Force guy being considered for the Hobey Baker, but I think it comes down to who's the best player in the country. There's a lot of good players out there."

Off the ice, Lamoureux has been nominated for the BNY Mellon Hockey Humanitarian Award. At the Academy, he's made the superintendent's list for excellence in academics, military and athletics, and completed the parachute and Global Engagement programs this past summer.

He keeps tabs on his siblings' hockey pursuits as well: Jean-Philippe is enjoying a strong rookie season with the St. Louis Blues' ECHL affiliate in Anchorage, Mario is following in his footsteps as a Fighting Sioux freshman, Pierre-Paul is at the University of Manitoba after a junior career with the Red Deer Rebels (where he played for Devils coach Brent Sutter), and sisters Monique and Jocelyne are leading scorers at the University of Minnesota, where the Golden Gophers are preparing for a run at the women's national championship.

"I'm just happy to be able to see all my siblings doing well," Lamoureux said, "and achieving the goals they set out for themselves and be able to be a part of all that."

At the moment, though, in a family whose hockey pedigree could make the Sutters sit up and take notice, Jacques Lamoureux is taking center stage, for all the right reasons.

"I think at the beginning of the year," Lamoureux said, "if you said, 'At the end of the regular season, you're going to have this many points, this many goals,' I would have gotten a laugh and said, 'There's no way.'"

Six years after he nearly jumped to his death, there's no telling how far Jacques Lamoureux will fly.